Matt had a gang bang and it leads the gang to miss Boyce on the podcast. Is Alex a sociopath? Let’s dive into how the death of our grandparents (doesn’t?) affect us. Does a walking corpse traumatize children? Kyle got Norovirus and snarted. Anthony plays Fart Roulette. Soup! Crisco! Cars! Moose! Ya know what, this show is garbage maybe don’t listen to it.
Anthony Ramontez is here and thank god because Alex thinks he’s going to get shot at LBX and he’s gonna need a body guard. How often do YOU think about the Roman Empire? Anthony does stand up at a gay club and Matt day dreams about the Las Vegas of the midwest. We discuss the vast corn fields of Iowa, giant cats and if you’re bored listen for the sound of the dryer buzzer! It means this terrible show is almost over.
This week on Emergency Stop: Jessica joins us and shares in explicit detail how Colossal smells. Alex gets blasted by a poop shotgun, the gang talks sun poisoning and we munch down on some Country Time Lemonade powder. Miranda changes her breastmilk to soy and simultaneously share our favorite non-checkout-lane sweets, including the slim-jim of candy. All of this and so much more so don’t wait, listen to MCR and bate it!
Matt proclaims Bee Sting Cake the most delectable German confectionairy and the gang agrees post cereal fuckin sucks. Miranda and Matt discuss Alex’s guilt driven parenting while he comforts his crying daughter. Miranda braves ghost town BoyZone. Kyle dies from violent exothermic diarrhea. Matt’s 4x yearly injection costs $12,000 and he explains how he can tell his twins apart. Why the fuck do kids need refrigerators and how do they prepare for sweet sixteen and pregnant parties in the classroom? Find out on this episode of Emergency Stop.
Our editor, Michael, joins us in the studio tonight, moustache and all and he’s shocked he edited a video with a dead man in it. Kyle is now aging his mead, Michael critiques the show and is all too eager to show us his anime porn video game collection on Steam. Alex throws a folding chair through dry wall, slept in canoes and murdered bitches. The gang talks battleships, women have 8 ovaries to spend and Michael submitted his fucking application to LE with a cover letter written by ChatGPT.
Kyle’s girlfriend of 11 years Courtney joins us in the studio! Alex compares his pubes to his beard. What is Naked Play? Family calendars, a wedding in Niagara, Tax Returns and Coffee Enemas all play a role in todays episode. Matt teaches us about fragrances and we reminisce about Lincoln Logs. The gang shares insights about their broken childhood dreams and Matt has some pro-tips on surviving driving off a bridge. When’s the last time you’ve seen a birthing video? Alex has sweaty uneven balls and the guys educate Miranda about the realities of a Testicular Torsion.
After a brief discussion on political correctness, Alex bores the gang with information on investing and Matt becomes a dark sexy caramel brown. Nugget quits the boob and the group trades stories about family history and parenting. Be sure not to miss Belle Delphine’s bath water, Tallywackers and a deep dive into Alex’s DeviantArt account from 2007. Speaking of throwbacks, where are all of our photos of our childhoods? Alex misses his 20’s body and Matt gives tips on being chubby. We wrap with some stupid hypotheticals from Google and confirm Miranda is indeed a Chihuahua.
Alex’s grandpa had a stroke and somehow no one noticed. Boyce gives us a golden doodle update and the gang wants to know when the next housing crash is going down. Boyce was homeless and had Super Nintendo at the same time. We talk about how we dealt with being kicked out and Miranda’s glad her mom is dead. Alex and Miranda will never get a hand-me-down house and we reflect on being from poor families. Boyce’s stepdad got what he had coming to him. The gang talks about their shitty moms and how much damage they did and we all tell some of our favorite Jimmy stories.
Today on Emergency Stop: Alex is deeply uncomfortable with emotions and his mom is SHOCKED! We discover the origins of Matt’s cynicism. Miranda is about to have a baby and we all agree that we won’t be scuba diving any time soon. Alex discusses all the ways he won’t die and looted Jimmy’s house for keepsakes. Miranda seduces everyone with a sexy photo. Kyle is anti-empty-nesting. We cover the shows demographics and babies with teeth. Alex makes a friend on an airplane, Miranda is mean to customer service workers and our neighbor either got dumped - or robbed, and we did nothing about it.
Another exciting episode of the Jury Duty podcast. This week, news from Niagara, Kyle barfs holy communion and Alex is afraid of angels. The gang tries to explain sleet and ice to Matt before being interrupted by Boyce’s thick long snake that ate a class pet. Alex gets persistently yelled at by a McDonalds employee and Matt’s kids start to mature. Finally - Nugget hates driving, the gang buys some domain names and we talk our favorite b-movies.
Welcome to America’s Funniest Falls with your hosts and Bob Saget and John Stamos! Everyone get your masks, Vic’s Vapo-rub and Alcohol and relax with an ice cold Crystal Ice! Jimmy’s farts smell like a decomposing body. Door dash is closed in the north and Jimmy loves visiting Gettysburg for the confederate flag gift shops. Alex gets personal with finances and special guest Michael Mullins meets the backrooms entity at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas.
Do we look old? Maybe. Jimmy won’t look at the camera. Crystal and John from the Riley Black Project are in the wrong place at the right time. Crystal nearly dies and gets a shot to the ass. The gummies hit John hard. Kyle vomits Cracker Barrel. Crystal contemplates a career with OnlyFeet.com and Jimmy is interested. Boyce sets off a HORRIBLE chain of events. Kyle’s balls provide customer service.
Miranda is back and the baby won’t sleep. Boyce has a new studio and his father in law is building a school in Uganda. Matt’s upset about new school laws. Alex screams while vomiting and everyone agrees it’s normal, except Miranda who asks for death. Kyle eats the whole popcorn. We continue to curse Florida. Miranda bought a van and gave the salesman the stomach flu and a mouse. Boyce fights racism with two fists. Jimmy has a tattoo!?
Boyce is in his Christmas pajamas and ready to roll. Today we’re talking TCG’s, you into Pokemon? Magic the Gathering? If not listen anyway it’s a damn good time. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to you brother? What do you do if you get poison ivy on your dick? All of these questions and more will be answered while Jimmy pinches his tiny penis and Boyce whips out old photos of him dressed like a stripper and gets in trouble in the Navy.
Miranda joins us in the studio today! Do you wear shoes in the house? Burritos used to be cheaper. Kyle contracts COVID and Jimmy’s phone is on MAX volume as he makes observations about when and how Miranda breastfeeds. Alex pisses in a diaper and the gang does SexEd. Did Jimmy get throat fucked in surgery? Let’s talk aliens, Star Wars, Star Trek and just piss on the floor. Spaceballs isn’t that good, now back to your regularly scheduled Girls Gone Wild commercial programming.
Some doctors knifed around in Jimmy’s neck so he’s been killing time leaving comments on PornHub. Alex looks like a blob fish because he threw out his back and Boyce looks like an expert because he threw down on the chiropractors of the world. Chris gets a pre-raise before teaching everyone how to play Cum or Drool and Jimmy gets a chubby.
Why is everyone butchering our last names? We’re experiencing Greg’s whitey tighties before giving Boyce a home welfare check. Jimmy doesn’t know what board games are because he was born in the 1910’s. Matt Rides an elephant and feels himself for an A on a spanish test. Boyce knows an idiot that thinks the Earth is round and Chris won’t stop playing with his fckin pssy.
Jimmy goes to Florida but everyone else has better stories about that horrible place which include Key Deer, Boy Scouts and a Pet Squirrel named Joe. A credit card is stolen, a cockroach attends an IEP meeting, mead is brewed and Boyce teaches physics. After the show visit Matt at Blockbuster and he’ll rent you the hit new release Peach 6.